Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Journal - July 23, 1991, 6:00 PM: Memories from the Past

A friend pulled a page from her journal and posted it on her Blog. I loved what she shared and decided that I might do some of that type of sharing. I intended to share one of my sweet fun memories; however, I pulled some of my older writings out and saw this one. Mother's Day causes me to reflect and remember. So, this is what y'all get to see - me at my weakest.

A Very Young and Naive Baskin Family

I opened my eyes to the morning
Hoping, always, that this would be the day.
The day of reunion
The day of joy.
Joy in the finding of my two lost children,
And also joy in knowing that I have truly forgiven my parents.

Evening is about to come,
Still no word.
The phone rings,
But not them.
No one has news.
As night falls I waiver in faith.

I do not know if they will ever be restored in this life.
But life continues.
Sometimes, it is so very hard.
Sometimes, I think I will never experience joy again.

Then -
Michael comes into the room
Bringing with him laughter and questions.

Then –
My husband comes home
And I know how lucky I am to have him.

Then –
I pray and suddenly I hear a still small voice
Saying –

Be still and know that I am Lord.
Do not be afraid.
I am here, always.

So now I close my eyes to sleep.
Perhaps I will dream and see their faces
Perhaps I will hear their voices
And touch their hands.

Or perhaps Jesus will simply love me –
Hold me-
For the morning is coming,
And I need His strength.
Strength to live,
Strength to laugh,
Strength to cry,
Strength to endure.

Will I see them again while they are children?
Please Lord comfort my children and let them know
That we love them dearly.
Thank you, God.


Karren said...

(((Debbie))) This post is beautiful in it's transparency. What an amazing gift you have with words to convey so clearly to us the heartache you carry in such a way that we are able to share part of it with you. Be assured that many, many of us continue to kneel beside you, agreeing with you in prayer for the restoration of your family.

Kearsmom said...

Such sweet, painful words! Thank you, Debbie, for sharing your heart! I do pray for you that you will see them again in this life, and that your reunion will be sweet.

I am so glad to have you for a friend!

Debbie B said...

Karren and kearsmom,

Thank you for your kind words and your prayers. I know that many days it has only been the prayers of God's children that have carried me.

Love you both,

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing that. It is so personal, so lovely.

Mel said...

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart. I want you to know that I pray daily for you and your family. I hope that one day soon your family will be complete once again.

Mel said...

(((Debbie))) I also pray that you will be reunited with your children. And that was beautiful, made me teary eyed.