Monday, February 18, 2008

So, how many assignments have I completed today?

NONE!!! Ugh! Yesterday was a busy day with church and then having to drive back to Twin City for the Valentine Banquet. We got home last night after 9 PM.

Today, I went to the orthodontist and then to the dentist and then got my nails done. (LOL, I guess the nails were a fun thing for me to do but not a necessary thing!) I came home and talked with my College Adviser. Mark had a doctor's appointment this afternoon to get his blood pressure checked and our PA put him on a diet. Maybe, both of us will lose weight.

My dentist office called and wanted to know if I could get Paul there real quick because they had a cleaning cancellation. I had to cancel Paul's cleaning two weeks ago when he was so sick. So, we rushed back to the dentist and he got his teeth cleaned. He needs the bottom wisdom teeth pulled and one filling, so I scheduled two more appointments for him.

Now, I am home. I rented "Becoming Jane". After my Cohort call tonight, I plan on watching it. I hope it's good. I guess today was my real day off. Well, I did talk through some lesson plans with Lauri for my science unit. I tried calling my friend, Deborah during the day on Saturday, but her line stayed busy for hours. I wonder if it was busy or taken off the hook? LOL Deborah is a homeschooler and she had offered to give me some suggestions for this unit that I am working on for my First graders.

I was very glad to talk with Gay, my Adviser. She really assured me about my teaching practices and strategies. She has been reading my Reflections and KNOWS what I am up against with my Clinical Supervisor.

I have been battling either depression or sadness or disappointment. I tried to talk with Mark and his advise, though godly, didn't help me. I am struggling with lots of feelings of longings and hopes and dreams that haven't or will never be fulfilled. I am hoping to spend some time in the Word this week. I have been so busy lately, I haven't been studying and mediating except when it's my turn to teach the Adult Sunday school class. Perhaps, my depression stems from being out of deep prayer and study with my Father. Mark keeps telling me to enjoy the journey and that is normally my stance on life. However, with so many changes and seasons changing in my life right now, I am struggling with this journey.

I had so hoped for a great Student Teaching experience and that's simply not the case. I have stayed stressed out and on edge most days. That really wasn't my plan. My students seem to love me and I know that I love and pray for all of them. Perhaps, God is wanting me to just focus on them and forget trying to please the clinical supervisor. I am tired of jumping through hoops only to be slapped.

Well, I am going to find the phone number for my Cohort call. Perhaps, I will hear a Word from God and be changed. If anyone read this cry-baby post, I should send you some chocolate.



Anonymous said...

(((Oh Debbie)))
Please, though don't send any chocolate! I'm up to my ears in it! It's delicious, but I don't really need to be eating it.

You sound a bit overwhelmed, and being a full-fledged, lived through a lot adult, it's probably very hard to have your teaching supervisor be so critical. It's not like you're a young'un just out of school.

You're also coming up on the anniversary of a HUGE tragedy in your life, that is bound to wreak havoc on you every year.

Slow down, take one task at a time and also rest.
Take care of yourself.

Noel said...

Mrs. Debbie,
I just want you to know that I love you!
I know how you feel trying to please a supervisor and help the student or in my case patient all at the same time. But something that God has shown me in this past few weeks is to fix my mind on Him. What ever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely whatever is pure, whatever is admirable to think about such things.
Stress is one of those things that I do not do so well with,and thinking about these things helps me to not be as stressed. Today I blew it though. I was thinking about all that I need to study for, don't have the needed time to study for and on and on. Then God gave me another comfort that I would like to share with you. I was listening to Charles Stanley, and he said that whenever God gives us a purpose, He always gives us the time to do it in. I really found that as a comfort.
God has brought us both so far, and He will not leave us now Mrs. Debbie. But we can't lose sight of why we are in this. And one day soon, we won't have to please a clinical instructor, we can fulfill the purpose that we are in school for! :)
I hope that this helped, and I am sorry for the book and not just a comment.
I love you!