Thursday, October 20, 2011

Guilt

I, as a mom, battle with guilt. Every time my children mess up, I assume that I could have somehow stopped it, that I should have seen it, and that I must be a horrible mom. I have felt this way too many times. When the kids were little, I could take away privileges, put them to bed early, or ground them. These punishments usually caused a change of behavior which seemed heartfelt. However, these tactics do not work with my older teens or young adult children.

So, here is my problem. If my children confess something to me or do something that goes against our family’s standards, I am sickened and begin to doubt my calling as a mother. And, then I doubt my ability to help teach other moms because obviously I am either blind or deceived. How can God possibly use me in any area of minister when I missed something with my beloved children?

Really?

So, I get down on my knees and I cry out to God. To the God that blessed me with my children and family. I ask Him to help my children. I ask Him to guide me in how to effectively deal with the issue at hand. I pray and pour over the scripture.

Really?

Why I do go to a God whose own children mess up and sin? Why should I seek His advice and wisdom? Wasn’t Adam His son? Wasn’t Eve His daughter? Didn’t He spend quality time with them walking with them in the cool of the garden? Didn’t He provide for all of their needs and desires? How did He miss their infatuation with the world and with sin?

Yet, I find myself running to my Father. I find myself not doubting His ability to help me – to help my child. I find myself still trusting Him.

Why?

I trust God and His wisdom because I know that He loves me. I know that He wants the very best for me. And, I know that He understands the sorrow that comes with parenting.

Maybe, my sorrows and my perceived failures help me to mentor and love other moms with great humility and compassion.

1 comment:

Graham said...

I have often thought about that. That God was the perfect parent and His children chose something else over Him. He is the gracious Ruler of heaven and 1/3 of His angels rebelled.

Can we trust a God who can't even seem to keep His own? You bet! Because He has suffered as we have, He can minister to our wounded hearts. He is faithful even when we are not.

And He had an obedient Son who identified with us. He is our example and our strong tower.