New kittens.........

Splenda got off of our porch several weeks ago. Yep, she did. So, a little over three weeks ago, she gave us a beautiful litter of four tiny kittens. They are precious but they aren't Ragdolls. They all appear to have long fur like their momma. She is an excellent momma cat.

Watching Paul Grow....

I know that God ordains that our precious children grow up. His desire is that they become responsible adults who love and serve him. This is my desire for my children, too. However, I find that my heart strings are being tugged and pulled at with much force as I watch my youngest racing toward becoming an adult.

Paul turns 16 on Sept. 8. Where has the time flown? When did he change from a young lad to the emerging young man that I am seeing? In a few short weeks, he will be getting his driver’s license and pulling out of my driveway without his dad, older brother, or me in the car making sure that all is safe and watching and trying to protect his decisions.

He has begun practicing his bass guitar with a new determination. Daily, he leaves our house to go and practice with his friends. He straps that large instrument to his back and picks up his amp and heads out the door. His friends mean the world to him and I am feeling left behind and realizing that all too quickly, he will be leaving and making his way in the world.

The other night when he came home, he walked into our darkened bedroom to tell me he was home. I could see this silhouette of a lanky young man still with his bass on his back. He came over to me and hugged me and told me that he was going to bed. All felt safe. My precious youngest son was home, and now I could go to sleep. Yet, my heart was breaking.

I still remember the laughing little boy who loved his trains. I remember the little boy learning how to ride his bike. I remember this child who adored his mommy and would walk with his small hand in hers.

Now, he walks alone. He no longer needs to hold my hand. He no longer plays with trains.

Thank you, Father.
Thank you for the gift of Paul.
Thank you for the joy his has brought into our lives and this family.
Protect and watch him, always.
Keep his hand in Your hand.
Hold tightly on to him when I am not with him.
Bless his life and keep his path straight.

Amen, through Christ I pray.

Reflections from my First Week of Teaching 5th grade

Well, what can I say? I made it through the first week. When Monday evening closed, I went to bed in tears. I really thought that I had made the most horrible mistake. Our school assigns students to math and language arts by ability grouping. Out of my four classes, I have three lower groups. Some of the behaviors in those classes were horrid. One of the teachers on the hall told me to get tough and gave me some pointers on *encouraging* children to change their behavior. I followed through with her suggests.

On Wednesday, I took away recess for an entire class. Of course, that punished me because I had to stay with them during recess. But, guess what? Thursday and Friday that class was my best behaved classroom! They realized that I meant business and would follow through.

Driving to work on Wednesday morning, I prayed for my students. I prayed that God would show me how to reach them and how to love them. I prayed for my ability and strength. I prayed specifically for a few students. They were the ones who had given me problems. Those were the names that I remembered.

God is gracious. I saw improvement in those students this week. Yet, more importantly, I see where God has put a desire in my heart to love these children. I want them to succeed. I want them to learn to make wise choices. There is so much more to teaching than book knowledge.

My heartbreak of the week has a name. Kennedy. This little girl is precious and has a serious illness. Please visit her web page at:

Kennedy

Thursday, we had a meeting with her mom. I fought to hold back my tears as mom was sharing about her daughter’s daily struggles and this child’s faith. Mom shared a section of a poem her daughter has written. Kennedy said she knew her body was a mess but she was ready to get a new one in heaven. Mom was crying. Please visit her website. If the Lord places this child on your heart, donate to help pay for her much needed surgery.

Unfortunately, I am ill! I have a horrible sore throat, cough, runny nose, and severe headache. I honestly thought that I would not get sick this quickly. Last year, I stayed sick student teaching first graders, but I thought that I would not catch illnesses from fifth graders. Wrong. Mark is determined that I am sick because I have worked 10 to 12 hour days all week. I don’t know how to accomplish all that is required of me in less time. Please pray that I can begin to get breathing room. I have no life other than school. I thought that once I completed my degree that I could enjoy my family, again. Paul is growing up so fast. I do not want to miss it.

That is my week in review. Continue to pray for me and my students. Continue to pray for my family (Mark, Michael and Paul), the ones that I can see and hold and the two (Christi and Bobby) that I cannot.

Blessings,
Debbie

I survived my first day with students....

I teach four different classes of 5th grade math students. Two of my groups seem to be wonderful and two of them are not.

Monday was a long and tiring day. I can't say that I am looking forward to today.

Please pray that God renews my strength and gives me the grace to deal with some of these children.

Blessings,
Debbie

A B C D.... 1 2 3 4 5......

Counting down to my first day of being with my students. Wow! I can't believe that August is already here.

Tomorrow, I have several things to accomplish. I have to carry Paul to his school and get his schedule fixed. Then, I am hoping to go out to my school and work on my room a bit. I won't have much time because at 1:00 PM, I have to report to the board for a 3 hour meeting. I am tired of classes and now a meeting. I really need to work on my classroom. After the meeting, I have to rush to the dentist. My appointment is at 4:00 PM. I am just going to have to leave this meeting early in order to make it on time.

Tuesday will officially begin pre-planning. I believe that our open house is this coming Friday.

I plan on posting some photos of my classroom after I get my bulletin boards completed and some things organized.

Blessings,
Debbie

Seeing God's hand.....

July 24, 2008

Well, I have made it through three days of new hire training. The first two days, the class was on Classroom Management. Besides, those two days, we have to meet one hour a month for the next four months and we have homework to submit. Today and tomorrow’s class is on Vocabulary. Our system has adopted a specific vocabulary program in which all of the teachers receive training and need to follow. Next week, I will attend three days of classes on Teaching Strategies.

I have had the opportunity to meet several of the fifth grade teachers. They all seem extremely nice. I look forward to collaborating with each of them.

The lady that I gave my Language Arts position to is precious. I really like her. This is her first year back in the classroom after eight years of being a stay-at-home mom. Her certification is in High School Language Arts. I believe that God was in this change. It will be much easier for me to teach math than for her to teach it. She has four children ranging in age from two to ten years old. Plus, she has to take several Georgia certification tests. I am fully certified and will not have near as much on me in regard to young children or having to prepare for the GACE test.

I wanted to say that I see where God was involved in this decision. I am glad that I submitted to letting go of the Language Arts. I am still not thrilled about the math but I see God’s purpose and plan.

Mark and I are considering and checking into adoption. We would love to adopt a little girl. Of course, I would take an infant, but we are leaning toward a four or five year-old. Please keep us in prayers as we pray and seek God’s direction in this decision. Since Paul is Asian, we would love to adopt another Asian child; however, this desire in not set in stone. We were simply thinking that two of our children would have that common link which would be nice.

We haven’t discussed this with our sons. If God continues to lead us and opens some financial doors for us, we will talk to them. I know that they would fully support our decision.

A change in my teaching position.....

Ack! I was at the school today putting up fabric on my bulletin board and starting to arrange my room. I went down to the office to ask my Assistant Principal a question. My principal asked me to change to math. She told me that it was my decision but they had just hired a new teacher who was certified in High School Language Arts and she was uncomfortable teaching the math. I had finally started to figure out all of this LA curriculum and standards and had planned my classroom and bought some things at the School Box in Atlanta and now I am teaching math.

I want to be a team player and try to not make waves but I could just cry. The subjects that I would rather teach are in this order:
History
Science
Language Arts
and lastly, Math.

Please be in prayer for me. I have to attend new hire classes for the next seven work days and I will not have time to even begin to figure out this math curriculum. BTW, I never asked my Assistant Principal the question. The teacher desk in my room is tiny and I was going to see if she could get me a larger one.

Watching our children grow......

Something amazing happens as we age. Our children and dear friends' children grow up into wonderful adults and teens. I have linked several blogs of young people that I have been privileged to watch grow up. Both of these families were homeschooled.

I have four of Deborah's daughters' blogs linked: Noel, Marigrace, Hope, and Leah Joy. I met Deborah when she only had Noel and Marigrace. I also have Deborah's blog linked. Deborah has a family of five daughters and two sons. She is currently hoping to adopt two more children from Africa.

Saige and Leah are two wonderful young women that are Danna's daughters. Saige is now married and a mother of two making her mom a grandmom! And, Leah is a teacher living near her folks, which also makes her mom very happy.

Check out these blogs and be encouraged that God honors our prayers, training and faith as we raise our children. God does not expect us to be perfect as mothers. He does expect us to love our children and trust Him as He leads our families. Remember when we have long days that we are not to grow weary in doing good. Do good to your family. Love and honor your husband.

Blessings,
Debbie

Mark and I accomplished one more summer time chore....

We painted and cleaned out the laundry room. Okay, my washer and dryer still do not match. I still have wire shelves and not cabinets over the appliances BUT the laundry room looks so much nicer. Lauri had extra paint and she gave me a gallon when I was up visiting. My sweet husband, who had no desire to paint another room in this house, helped me to empty out and paint this room. I think that the paint color looks good going into my kitchen.

Several ladies on my board,ChristianMoms, wanted to see pictures of my room. So, I am posting some lovely photos (hehehe) of it.

Unmatched dryer and washer. Aren't they lovely? I just haven't been able to spend the money on a matching dryer because that Whirlpool is still working! Call me cheap.


Looking into my kitchen. I think (hope) that the colors work well together.


My new American basket that I picked up at Cracker Barrel. I love it especially since it was on clearance for nearly half price! The other basket holds my aprons.


Even a laundry room needs a little art! My Finding Nemo prints have found a new home. The boys didn't want them in their bathrooms! Go figure!


The old closet that we bought at a seminary yard sale when Mark was a student. These closets were used in the fifties in seminary housing for married students. Since we bought it, it has been painted white, green, fire-engine-red, and now chocolate brown.

Summer is flying quickly .....

I have been extremely busy this summer and the time for posting and the computer has not been a priority.

Mark and I accomplished a few GOOD things like painting both boys' rooms and their bathrooms and the hallway. We also managed to clean out our garage. That was one hot dirty job! We also both worked a five day VBS at our church and were the special music for the reception honoring our prior pastor.

My friend Linda visited from Florida. Unfortunately, her trip was cut short due to her mother getting very ill. Please pray for Linda and her mom. Her mom was released to a hospice.

My friend, Lauri, and two of her teens came down for a visit for nine days. We managed to get to Tybee Island for a couple of days while they were here. Several of us got burned. Ouch! We had a great 4th of July celebrating with a BBQ and fireworks.

Paul completed summer school where he made excellent grades and then headed to North Carolina to Boy Scout Camp. Paul went to Calhoun traveling with Lauri's son and then I followed traveling with Lauri and her daughter a few days later. While in Calhoun, I managed to get a visit with Deborah and her family and learn the details of their upcoming adoption. Mark met us in Macon today. I phoned a dear friend that I hadn't seen in several years when I saw the Warner Robbins sign and we went by their new house for a visit. It was great seeing Danna and Herb.

Michael has been busy taking college classes all summer and his only break was a trip to Atlanta to Six Flags with a group of friends from his church.

Mark, me and Paul at the Crab Shack.


Me and Linda. The food was GOOD!!


Lauri, Rachel and Taylor in the woods across the street from my house.


Taylor standing on a rotting bridge rail in the woods.


An interesting log. I see a dragon!


Taylor, Rachel and Lauri at Tybee.


A very fat woman standing with my sweet husband. And, what's even more scary... the old gal doesn't have on any make-up!!


Rachel and Paul fixing to go out Ballroom dancing.


Two dapper young men, Levi and Paul, ready to break some sweet girls' hearts.


The entire gang trying to leave but some MOM is insisting on pictures!




Marigrace, Lauri, me and Deborah trying the "put your hands on your hips to look skinny trick" however, I don't think it worked on me.

Finding Joy

I decided years ago that I had to choose joy over depression and sadness.

Joy and happiness are not synonyms. The apostle Paul speaks of joy in all circumstances. He is my model. His example is what I turn to during dark days. Happiness is fleeting. People often base it on external temporary pleasures. Joy is abiding. Paul talks about contentment. I had to learn to be content in my relationship with Christ Jesus. I had to learn to accept and expect His abiding presence with me daily in the form of the Holy Spirit.

People disappoint us. They can leave us, abandon us, slander us, and loved ones can die. Material possessions grow old and fade with time. However, these are not the areas in which we can put our faith. Our faith must remain fully grounded in Christ and the work His did in order to redeem us to Himself.

It is impossible for Christ to disappoint us if our hearts one with His. His desire for us is to abide with Him. This abiding will last an eternity in heaven; however, it is here for us now. In order to have joy in this life, my advice is to daily spend time with Christ. Get to know Him – the man and our Lord. Meditate on His Word. Lean not to your own understanding (of life) but in all your ways acknowledge Him.

I had to realize that life can take me by surprise and alarm but God is never surprised. God knew the day that I gave birth to Christi and to Bobby that my parents had formed an evil desire in their hearts to steal our children. This was not something that I could prepare for in advance because I am not God and not omnipotent. I don’t have foreknowledge. But, my Lord and Savior knew that these events would unfold in our lives.

I admit that I questioned God the Father. I could not begin to understand why He allowed this tragedy to take place in my family. I did not understand why I needed to go on living. I did not understand how this rupture of my family could in any way bring honor to the name of Christ. I was lost in my despair and sorrow. During this time I camped out in the Old Testament. I read David’s laments. I read the prophets that foretold of the Israelites’ impending bondage. I read and I wept. The prophet Isaiah began to minister to my soul and broken heart.

I read and reread the accounts of Job and Joseph. I read the story of Hannah. I read the story of Ester. And, my list continued. What I discovered in all of these saints’ lives is that they did not see God’s plan while in the midst of the trials. They forged their way through the darkness of their trials believing that there was more to life than what their physical eyes revealed. I decided to believe what Joseph said to his brothers, “What man intended for evil, God intended for good.”

This short phrase has kept me safe and helped to hold my faith steadfast.
Yet, it was Paul and his words and teachings that helped me to realize that presence of God – today. Paul told me to be content regardless of life’s circumstances. He reminded me that I see through a glass dimly but someday I shall see face-to-face. I know that I am repeating myself but this is where I found my peace. I found peace in coming to this awareness that Christ is always with me. And, that I can trust Him.

Daily I meet Christ. He gathers me up in His arms and draws me to Him each morning. I see His nail scarred hands with my name cut into them. He whispers words of hope and love in my ears. And, I believe Him. I believe that someday the sorrows and disappointments of this life will fade into a distant past.

As I read the accounts of Christ in scripture, I realize that He stopped and enjoyed those around Him. He loved on the children. He shared meals with friends. He went to parties and danced at weddings. However, Christ is God and He is omnipotent. He knew exactly what He was going to have to endure – the sorrow of the cross, the mournful tears of his mother, the abandonment of friends, the rejection. Yet, he went about His life and ministry with a joy that was contagious to the masses.

Who am I to say that I cannot find a true joy in this gift of life that God has given me today? Who am I to deny the beauty in the world around me? Can I ignore a child’s smile or innocent questions? Can I harden my heart to dear friends’ compassion? Can I stomp my feet and scream because my life has had some thorns as well as roses? I know that none of my thorns have been nearly as painful as my Savior’s.

So, I stand with the saints who have lived before me and I make my choice to live with joy because of my eternal reward and the reward that I experience daily with my Lord and Savior.

Paul's Youth Group's Skit to "Everything"

I accidentally turned off the video near the beginning while trying to zoom in on the kids. I quickly started it from this point. Paul is the boy who dances with the girl. I am so glad the Cotillion has found some use in his life. I couldn't figure out how to zoom in a dark theater. Sorry. So, the video is not that great. You can't see the expressions on the faces.

Yellow Roses

I love roses. My sweet husband knows that I love fresh cut flowers in my house. They bring me joy and provide beauty to our home. Today when Mark came in from work, he presented me with a bouquet of wonderful long-stemmed yellow roses. His gift took me by surprise so I asked him why he had brought me the roses.

His answer, "I know how much you love roses. When I saw them today, I thought of you and bought them."

I am so blessed to have a husband who brings me roses just because. I love this man.


I put the roses in an old iced tea pitcher that was my Grandmother's. She grew the most beautiful roses.

Snicker....

Yesterday, I wanted to show Paul the pictures that I had taken of our pets. He came into my office and I opened the picture file. Of course, he saw the ones of his messy room (I spared y'all those) and him and Michael sleeping.

He looked at me rather puzzled and said, "Mom, you are so weird! Why would you sneak into my room and take pictures of me sleeping? I really don't understand."

In my defense, I didn't sneak into his room.

LOL!! BTW, I didn't tell him that I posted those pictures on my Blog yesterday.

Blessings,
Debbie

Morning Colors....

I love spring. I enjoy those gentle morning hours when the air is filled with a sweet stillness and the dew is still on the flowers. I was out on the screened-in-porch this morning after Mark had left for work. I was talking to our pets while I drank my coffee. I had taken my camera in order to try and get some photos of the birds but the pets got my attention instead.

Splenda saw me and came up from the woods.

Here she is telling me hello!

This is our "puppy" Daisy. She is Minnie's baby.

This is our Minnie. We got her from a cousin who raised doxies after Mark's daddy died.


As I was looking around I noticed the colors. The color of the still pond with the trees' shadows casting a gray hue. The trees' leaves were rich shades of green since we have not had any lack of rain. The earth was filled with God's glorious artistry.

The pond and our picnic table where Paul will spend lazy afternoons fishing with his friends.


Trees near the pond flourish since they have a ready supply of water.


The mighty oak.


Next, I decided to wander around to the front of our home and check out the Easter lilies that I had planted last year.

Notice, the lilies are still wet with the morning dew! Their fragrance is sweet.



Here are a few more shots of some of my basket flowers and plants.

I like the delicate ruffled edges of the Africa violet's flowers.


More Basket plants.



As I came back into my quiet house, I decided to check on my sons. Both are done with this semester's classes. However, Paul begins summer school in June and Michael will be starting a summer session in college in a week or so.

My sleeping beauties! NOT!! Won't they just love me for posting these great shots?




Blessings,
Debbie

Week 2: Writing Challenge

"If this blog entry could catch your family's undivided attention and they would take to heart what they read, what is the one thing you would want to say to them?"

If you take part, please leave a note in my comments. Thanks!

This question came from Karren and it's not easy to answer. There are so many things that I would want to make sure that my family (I am thinking immediate and/or children) to take to heart. I would want all four of them to know that I love and pray for each of them. My desire for their lives to is for them to live a life honoring God and bringing praise to His Name. However, the most important message to my family would be a life lived in faith. I want my family to know that even during the most painful times in life that God's provision, care, salvation and love it real. "Faith is the substance is the things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Loved ones, trusted family members, and friends can fail you but God is always trustworthy. Don't confuse God's speaking with circumstances. God is never changing. He is stable. Sometimes, God does speak to us through our circumstances BUT there are times when those circumstances are set up as a stumbling block. In order to be able to know and see the difference, STAY in the Word, STAY in fellowship with other believers, and ALWAYS pray without ceasing.

Daily I feel my Savior's presence. I want my family to know this as a fact. I want each of them to experience a true and vital relationship with Christ.

Friday's Feast

A friend from my board gave the link to Friday's Feast. I thought that I would play - at least this Friday.

Feast One Hundred & Ninety One
May 16, 2008.

Appetizer

What is the nearest big city to your home?

We are right between Savannah and Macon.
Soup

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?

Ummm, well.... maybe an 8.

Salad

Describe your hair (color, texture, length).

My hair has lots of lots of blond highlights. It is very soft, thick hair and past my shoulders in length. Honestly, I really like my hair.

Main Course

What kind of driver are you? Courteous? Aggressive? Slow?

I am an aggressive but courteous driver. No road rage here. No one would describe my driving as slow. LOL

Dessert

When was the last time you had a really bad week?

One of the weeks while student teaching back in April. I was so sick and having to be observed. It was the pits!!

Another Blast from the Past

You’re Beautiful (written 8 years ago in 2000)

Last night, Mark and I got in late. We had been in Port Charlotte teaching English and reading classes to the Hispanic players on the Texas Rangers’ farm team. After completing the classes, we grabbed a dinner and went to the store. I checked on the boys when we walked in the house and then went to my room to chill out for a few minutes. I washed my face and put on my robe.

My almost eight-year-old son was in the breakfast room eating my left-over steak from the restaurant. He should have been in bed but he wasn’t.

“Paul, is that good?” I inquired as I was passing through the room. He stopped eating and looked up at me. I was going to tell him to go brush his teeth and get in bed when he held out his arms for a hug. Of course, I had to hug him. It’s one of those perks you get when you are a mom.

He wrapped those skinny little boy arms about my neck and then surprised me with a kiss. I smiled down at my son. I was thinking how much I loved being a mother. As I was about to walk out of the room, my son looked at me and said, “Mom, you’re beautiful.”

His statement took me by shock. Here I was wearing a fuzzy yellow robe, house shoes, and NO makeup! I managed to thank him because I realized he meant it. There was no hidden agenda. To my little boy, I was beautiful. Then he added, “Mom, would you hold me for a minute? You are so soft and snuggly in that robe. I would like to just sit in your lap.”

Nothing thrills my heart more than when one of my children just wants to be near me – just to sit in my lap. I love it when all they want is me. Yes, those are the times I would give them the world.

As I was holding my precious son last night, God spoke to me. After a busy, long day I was finally still and not asleep. It was a perfect opportunity for my Father to speak. Very quietly, very gently, God stepped into my living room. My Father looked down and He smiled at me and asked, “Debbie, when’s the last time you just climbed up in my lap? When’s the last time you told me that I was wonderful and you didn’t want a thing? Child, sometimes I want my perks for being your Father. Sometimes, I want your arms around my neck.”

Often, the cares of this life press in on us so tightly we forget that we have a Father who loves us. We get so consumed with doing and going, we ignore the One that we are serving. We neglect our relationship with our God and then we wonder where our passion has gone. We long for our joy and peace to return but we’re too tired and busy to stop and figure out what’s wrong. We tell everyone that we love the Father but we forget to tell the Father. I am so glad that my Father still speaks to me. He speaks words of love. He loves me because I’m His kid.

The ordinary things in our lives, the people that we take for granted are usually our burning bush! My living room chair was the bush. My son was the flame. Suddenly, I was on Holy Ground. God was in the room reminding me that I needed Him.

Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me through my child. I really need to spend some more time with you. I need to cuddle up and just let You hold me. Thanks for reminding me that this daughter can still sit in her Father’s Lap.

Oh, and Dad, You’re beautiful.


Paul and Me

Writing Challenge #1:

List 5 things you and your husband do for each other in your marriage that are sweet habits you've developed over the years.

**If you take part in this challenge on your Blog, please tell me in my comments! Thanks.

1. Mark makes me coffee every morning! He usually pours it for me and brings it to me.

2. We read the Bible and pray together to begin our days. Well, Mark reads and I listen.

3. I sign his cards: Love, Your First Wife. Often, he will refer to me during a sermon or a choir rehearsal as his first wife. That can confuse new folks!

4. After 28 years of marriage, he still opens every door and car door for me. He has always treated me with such respect and gentleness.

5. We support each other in our endeavors. Example: I have tried to attend nearly all of Mark's concerts and musical performances over the years.

My Journal - July 23, 1991, 6:00 PM: Memories from the Past

A friend pulled a page from her journal and posted it on her Blog. I loved what she shared and decided that I might do some of that type of sharing. I intended to share one of my sweet fun memories; however, I pulled some of my older writings out and saw this one. Mother's Day causes me to reflect and remember. So, this is what y'all get to see - me at my weakest.


A Very Young and Naive Baskin Family


I opened my eyes to the morning
Hoping, always, that this would be the day.
The day of reunion
The day of joy.
Joy in the finding of my two lost children,
And also joy in knowing that I have truly forgiven my parents.

Evening is about to come,
Still no word.
The phone rings,
But not them.
No one has news.
As night falls I waiver in faith.
Faith.

I do not know if they will ever be restored in this life.
But life continues.
Sometimes, it is so very hard.
Sometimes, I think I will never experience joy again.

Then -
Michael comes into the room
Bringing with him laughter and questions.

Then –
My husband comes home
And I know how lucky I am to have him.

Then –
I pray and suddenly I hear a still small voice
Saying –

Be still and know that I am Lord.
Do not be afraid.
I am here, always.

So now I close my eyes to sleep.
Perhaps I will dream and see their faces
Perhaps I will hear their voices
And touch their hands.

Or perhaps Jesus will simply love me –
Hold me-
For the morning is coming,
And I need His strength.
Strength to live,
Strength to laugh,
Strength to cry,
Strength to endure.

Lord,
Will I see them again while they are children?
Please Lord comfort my children and let them know
That we love them dearly.
Thank you, God.

Mother's Day Ramblings

Mother’s Day is an extremely bittersweet day for me. I am grateful for my sons who I can see, hug, and hear. They bring me joy and laughter and sometimes, a few other emotions that I won’t speak of today. (hehe) However, my mind thinks back in time when this day arrives. I find myself thinking about Christi and Bobby more than I normally do. I wonder many things. Are they married? Do I have grandchildren? Are they happy? Are they serving Christ? Are they missing me as much as I miss them? Do they remember their daddy and me? I wonder.

Yet, God has given Mark and me the grace to continue despite the pain, despite the unknowing, despite our broken hearts where our precious two older children are concerned. God has shown His love and care to our family. And, we believe we are blessed.

Today, I am totally and completely exhausted. Mark and I had a 20 hour day yesterday chaperoning his band students to a concert festival and then a trip to Six Flags over Georgia. We awoke to raging storms and yet still proceeded to shower and get ready for our church service. Both boys went with us today. It was so good to see their faces as I sat in the choir loft. After the choir special, the choir left the loft and sat with our families. That is not a normal happening in our church.

This was Dr. Perry’s last Sunday as our pastor. I ache inside. I have come to dearly love Margaret and Dr. Perry. Mark adores both of them. I wonder what changes God might have in store for my husband’s ministry. Yet, again, I believe we are blessed. The Perry’s have enriched my life.

Mark and the boys wanted to take me out for Sunday dinner but I didn’t want to fight the crowds. I just wanted a still day with my sons. I had baked a big hen on Friday evening and had put it in the refrigerator. I told Mark that I wanted to come home and cook some veggies and eat here. So, that’s what we did. I made stir fry fresh green beans, summer squash with sweet Vidalia onions chopped in them and baked potatoes.

I didn’t tell Mark this but whenever we eat summer squash, I think about his daddy. Mark’s daddy loved to garden. He grew the most wonderful squash, beans, peas, and watermelon. I am thankful for sweet memories. I am blessed.

Today at church, I was one of two moms who had four children. So, we each won a bouquet of roses because we were the moms with the most children. When I sat down, my friend who sits next to me in choir, leaned over and said, “I didn’t know that you had four children.” I just smiled and nodded. Smiles can be such a façade. She didn’t know the pain behind that smile. Thankfully, by the end of service she had forgotten her question and didn’t seek me out to ask more questions. I was blessed.

Oh, back to our dinner. Mark wanted to know if I had everything needed to finish dinner. I told him that I only needed the ingredients to make my strawberry cake. We stopped at the grocery store, and purchased fresh berries, sour cream, whipped topping and cake mix. The cake is made. Paul came in the kitchen when I was icing it and ended up helping me complete the cake. This cake was my sweet daughter’s favorite cake. It was the one she’d request for her birthday. While the memories are sweet, they also bring sorrow. But, God is good and He gives me strength to endure.

My thoughts and emotions are so mixed today, yet, I have an assurance. My Christ loves me and my family. I choose daily to trust in His love. I am blessed.


Michael and Me


Paul and Me


Being Silly


Paul, me and Michael


Mark and the boys


Mark and Me: two very tired parents!

Hearing God in the Silence

As we travel our life’s journey, we can get enticed by the glitter and glamour of the world. Our eyes are drawn to bright lights and our ears begin to listen to strange music. This infatuation with the world begins early in our lives often starting when we are but babies in the crib staring at the mobile spinning round our heads. We become accustomed to noise and forget that in silence we often find sweet repose.

Silence can be unnerving and the source of discomfort for many individuals. Yet, the scripture informs us that God speaks in a still small voice. When I recall some of the most touching moments in my life, they didn’t take place under bright lights and loud music but in calm stillness. I remember whispering in my babies’ ears as I rocked them to sleep that I loved them. Holding those wonderful gifts from my God were precious and memorable times.

I remember the first time that Mark told me that he loved me. He said it in a soft voice while his arms were wrapped around me. He didn’t shout it at the top of his lungs but quietly told me with a sincerity that I knew was real and lasting.

As mere mortal men and women, we understand that often the most cherished things in life are said during peaceful, quiet moments. Yet, we frequently wonder why we can’t hear the voice of the Father amidst the chaos and confusion of our lives.

The past week, I have been able to be still and listen. I have had the time to seek my Father in quiet moments. As I began to plan activities for today, I realized that I had a peace and joy. This joy wasn’t because of the tasks that I had laid out to do, since usually cleaning the refrigerator, microwave and changing the bed lines doesn’t excite me, but because I had a sense of His Divine Presence and His Perfect Peace.

During my sweet husband’s sermon on Sunday, he spoke of doing all things (from the great to the small) as unto God. That part of his message came back to me this morning. All things we do as unto Christ whether singing in a service if front of hundreds or cleaning the oven. Our attitude is so important because it is a reflection of the condition of our heart.

Heavenly Father,

Allow my heart reflect your loving presence in my life. Please let my actions, words and decisions show others how much I love and trust You.

Please watch over all of my children this day. Guide the steps of Christi, Bobby, Michael and Paul. Cover them with Your love and protection. Restore this family.

Be with and protect my dear husband this day. Give him joy and laughter.

In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.

Diplomas

After starting and stopping and starting and stopping, I finally managed to complete a college degree. This has been a desire of mine for years. However, due to life's circumstances, it got put on hold several times. I received my diploma in in the mail with an official graduation date of April 4, 2008 which was one day after my fiftieth birthday. Mark bought me a frame for it.

Well, I went into the office with it and looked at the available wall space. LOL We have a large window on one wall the back wall is lined with bookcases and over the desk is "Mark's shrine" (LOL).

Mark's wall!


Now, granted, I hung all of those diplomas, ordinations, and awards up to honor my sweet husband. This man means the world to me. I am proud of him and can't imagine my life without him.

A favorite picture of my Wonderful Husband and me!


Spring Concert at Brewton Parker College


However, back to me and my diploma, I then turned to the remaining wall and managed to find a small space to hang my diploma over the piano along with other stuff of Mark's - his antique music and a cross-stitch that I made for him when our sons, Bobby and Michael, were young.

Finally, my little lonely Diploma!